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“How to get your pickup game straight in just one weekend"
BY Kevin Purcell, September, 2006
The Aquarian - http://www.theaquarian.com/
Picture this, it’s Friday night so you hit the scene with a few of your buddies, dressed to impress, with the hope of meeting someone special. When you’re at the club, you start downing drinks so your confidence grows and midway through you spot a lady of interest. Insecure, overcome by limiting beliefs and afraid of rejection, you decide against approaching. You go home unfulfilled and unsatisfied only to repeat the process again on Saturday.
As bleak as this reality might seem, there is hope. Dating gurus, once in a similar situation, are extending their hands to those in need in hopes of guiding them toward overcoming their dating troubles (for a nominal fee, of course). Through seminars, literature and in-field workshops, these gurus promise to address shortcomings and direct students toward success with women.
Despite the bustling market, the topic of male dating advice remains taboo. Experts, instructors and students alike all refer to themselves through aliases. Please note that the characters mentioned in this article are no different and seemingly irrelevant information like age have been barred from reporting.
I, like many of you reading, have select areas of challenge with regard to dating. Approach anxiety has always been an issue. I also have the limiting belief that women of significant beauty are off limits and unapproachable, despite my attractive physical appearance. To overcome these insecurities, I turned to Real Social Dynamics.
Real Social Dynamics (RSD) is one of the industry’s leaders, which specializes in in-field workshops where coaches train clients to go from average guys to certified pimps in just three days. The RSD coaches spend a portion of time teaching technique, but the primary focus is the application of such “book smarts.” Instruction is personalized to address clients’ weaknesses and is very intimate with a single coach never instructing more than three students at a time. This helps to ensure that each student will walk away a changed man rather than the same guy with a few new pickup lines and $1,500 less in his pocket.
My experience with RSD began at a posh mid-town hotel, where I met my instructor Sam, two students and a RSD intern. Sam was a powerful young man, built like an offensive lineman with an aura that conveyed confidence and experience far beyond his years. He was not particularly personable, but as I would later discover, he did this because he had tremendous ground to cover in just a few days.
The two students came from drastically different paths. One was a successful businessman whose failed engagement from years prior left his dating game in the dust. The other was a greasy haired college senior, who decided to use his Atlantic City winnings to fund his transformation from average college dude to on-campus pimp. Sam would transform both into dating pros right before my eyes.
One of our first tasks was to walk around the hotel silent, repeating in our heads “I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about me.” This mentality, it was assumed, would help lower the wall of anxiety and make us less prone to the pain of rejection. Alongside this was the idea that your own personal value determines the value of those you attract. So if you see yourself as a seven out of ten, you will only be able to attract women who are sevens. Like soldiers responding to a drill sergeant, when asked “What are you?” we were instructed to loudly proclaim, “A fucking ten!” Silly as it may appear on paper, it seemed to work.
Eager to experiment yet still a bit skeptical, we headed to the eastside. By the time my taxi arrived at the location, the two students had already approached their first set. The apprentices took to the game like fish to water. It was truly incredible. An hour earlier, they had listed approach anxiety as a major obstacle, but with the help of Sam (and perhaps the motivation behind their monetary commitment) it was no longer an issue. As the night progressed, Sam evaluated each interaction, noted shortcomings, provided solutions and guided the students toward escalating each step.
By the close of day one, the younger student left with several numbers (one taken in front of a boyfriend), while the other had a couple numbers and one with extremely strong potential for further relations. I did not find much success due to my extreme selectivity, but I did enjoy opening a set of interns from the fashion industry. Shortly after I left the conversation, a beautiful young woman opened me. How’s that for social proof?
Day two followed the same structure as day one, only the focus turned from approaching to making out and possibly completing the deal. For this we hit the lower eastside, where the potential for such physical relations appeared significantly greater. The secret to this was to implore the same techniques learned the previous day, but also to dramatically shorten the distance between you and the target to the point that you’re mere inches apart. When combined with triangular gazing (a technique derived from our limbic system), the result is often a kiss and perhaps much more.
Once again, both students left with phone numbers and the younger student succeeded with the make out assignment. Interestingly, while the intern and I observed their courting rituals, two British women approached us looking for fun. They came to the right place… however, the conversation quickly turned to alcohol as they implied we buy them a round. No, no, no. In a flash, the intern responded appropriately with “We don’t buy girls drinks,” resulting in their immediate departure. Newsflash: Chicks play guys for drinks. Note: A pimp does not buy drinks for women. They buy drinks for him.
Day three involved an entirely different dimension: daytime gaming. From afar, the notion of approaching during the daytime might seem unnatural, dangerous, awkward, and potentially more embarrassing. According to the RSD folks, this could not be further from the truth.
Substituting in as our coach was Rocky, a newly trained instructor who had just completed a grueling two-week initiation process. In contrast to Sam, Rocky was tall and wire-thin. His style of dress was minimalist with a nice pair of jeans and undershirt, topped by an old Yankees hat that concealed his hair that had gone four days without washing (two girls over those days). Also his nose dripped incessantly due to having undergone nasal surgery the previous week. Despite his less than stellar appearance, his attitude and commitment was beyond impressive. He was tremendously enthusiastic, genuine and determined to deliver as a coach. As he instructed us on technique, routine, and the courting process, the students hurriedly scribbled down notes as they tried to take down every crucial point.
Following the valuable instruction was what we all signed up for… the makeover! Perhaps that was not the leading motivator for signing up, but the students certainly needed the consultation. One student showed up in a bland, Hawaiian patterned shirt – the type elderly people wear just before they pass away. The other fared no better and wore a painfully ugly orange polo shirt supported from below by clunky sneakers that featured different colored laces.
Luckily, a quick visit to a trendy boutique transformed the oddballs into far more fashion-intelligent pickup artists. Rocky, along with two interns, helped guide the students on what styles fit their bodies and by the end, they were fully transformed both internally and externally.
Fortunately for me, Rocky took me in as a student and wanted to see me in action (previously, I was more of an observer with the intern). I immediately recognized that this could have great potential. After he provided me with a couple openers, it was off to Washington Square Park where I would experience both the weekend’s high and low points.
With Rocky’s faith in me, I approached a woman who sat alone reading a copy of Business Week. Easy, right? Not exactly. After I opened with the suggested situational opener, I inquired as to what she was reading. Innocent, right? Nope. Like a rabid dog backed into a corner, she scowled “I don’t like to be bothered.” My immediate ejection was welcomed with support from the guys only to be followed by dropped jaws after reporting that she did not like to be bothered.
Visibly shaken and ready to call it quits, Rocky took me under his wing and opened another girl only to answer a fake phone call and leave me alone with the prospect. After an hour of laughing, teasing, deep eye contact and applying the tips taught by RSD, I had her number. When I rejoined the squad, my performance was analyzed and evaluated, only for Rocky to conclude that I could have completed the deal that day. Nice to know…
Although we were only together for three days, it felt weird saying goodbye to the clients and instructors. It was like we were all graduating into manhood. The students who began as lost guys left as accomplished, confident and secure men. They no longer felt uncomfortable approaching women and, in many cases, succeeded with those they approached. Without hesitation, I can say that in only three days RSD was responsible for developing their dating lives well beyond what they were able figure out elsewhere or on their own.
Above all the instruction and experiences, the most valuable advice came from Sam on day one. To paraphrase, he said, “Do you know why fat chicks are fat? It’s because it’s easy. They want to be thin and know that life would be better. The problem is that when they exercise and diet, their bodies go through so much pain, they quickly stop and return to the comfort of television and Häagen-Dazs. The same goes for dating. The beginning is really uncomfortable, but over time it will all come together.”
Every weekend, RSD conducts bootcamps in New York, Los Angeles, London, and Sydney similar to the one chronicled in this article. Thousands of clients have attended their live programs as young as fifteen years old all the way up to men in their seventies (if that is not testament to their trainings, I don’t know what is). Also, be on the lookout for the group’s first published book The Blueprint being released later this summer. If it is anything like the Jay-Z album, you will be picking up H to the Izzos in no time.
“Mastering The Game"
BY Joe Zigfeld, February, 2006
Edge Magazine
THINK THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS "STUD-OLOGY 101?" CHECK
OUT HOW ONE MAN LEARNED TO GO FROM DUD TO STUD
Is there a science to seducing gorgeous women? Yes, says a growing
movement, and its methods can be mastered by anyone who's motivated enough.
I'd heard about such techniques for years, but usually dismissed them as
the bullshit of snake-oil salesmen out to exploit gullible guys.
But when I learned that a former New York Times reporter claimed
he had burst his shackles of involuntary abstinence and scaled the heights
of alpha male-dom, I had to know more. In the book The Game: Penetrating
the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, Neil Strauss (co-author of Jenna Jameson's
autobiography) details his journey from dud to stud. He convinced me that
a coherent body of practical “stud-ology” is indeed available
to the average guy.
Two seduction experts, known as Tyler Durden - after Brad Pitt's
Fight Club character - and “Papa” figure prominently in The Game.
They're the founders of Real Social Dynamics (www.realsocialdynamics.com),
a firm that operates “boot camps” combining instruction with
nocturnal forays into the field, where you apply what you've learned under
the watchful eye of your teacher.
I decided to take one of their Manhattan boot camps. My instructor
was Tim, a young Heath Ledger-type from Australia. How could this dude, who
probably scored left and right on his looks alone, teach me how to seduce
an “SHB” (super hot babe, one of many terms in the pickup-artist
lexicon)? But he was such a forceful presenter, I suspended all my doubts
and gave him my full attention. He was like Patton revving up his troops
for battle.
I'm 5-foot-5 and not blessed with movie-star looks. But I do
have a gift for bullshit. As Tim went through different techniques, I started
to see how they could help me improve my batting average.
After the day's formal seminar, we went to a noisy bar on Manhattan's
East Side. I introduced myself to Liz, a redhead from Minneapolis, Minn.
She wasn't pretty, but she was clearly drunk and cute in a kooky way - the
type who'd have no qualms about dancing on the bar. She immediately put her
arm around me and made me feel in sync with her. But what really impressed
Tim was that Liz bought me a beer. Thus, I had succeeded on one of Tim's
basic points: A true alpha male gets girls to buy him drinks, not vice-versa.
Liz further enticed me when she announced that she was bisexual.
But when I asked her to name her fantasy babe, it wasn't Angelina Jolie.
Or Jessica Simpson. Even Paris Hilton would have been a turn-on. But no,
Liz's ideal girl was Ellen DeGeneres. When I think of threesomes, Ellen is
not who I have in mind. But we kept flirting, and Liz eventually gave me
her card and asked me to call her.
This was another coup in Tim's eyes. But as cool as Liz was,
she wasn't that much different from the type of average-looking girls I usually
end up with anyway. The real test of Tim's training would be getting an SHB.
Later, after Tim and the other students went home, I headed to
a midtown lounge, Prey, where I could have a conversation without screaming.
I made sure to follow Tim's seduction rules as much as possible. Check out
the action.
Rule 1: Big Smile
I walked into Prey with a huge grin on my face. (I hate my smile.
But seduction theory puts a lot of stock in strolling into a place - smiling
confidently - like you “own it.” The only way to get more comfortable
with your smile is to keep doing it until it becomes second nature.) Maybe
I looked like an asshole, but I literally forced myself to grin and bear
it. I immediately spotted a gorgeous brunette at the bar. She looked like
Eva Longoria with a pair of huge bolt-on stripper breasts.
Rule 2: Three Seconds and Counting
Now that I'd noticed her, and she'd caught me looking her way,
I had seconds to make my move. Otherwise, she'd write me off as another “AFC” (average
frustrated chump) who didn't have the guts to act decisively.
Rule 3: Kick Her Off Her High Horse
I approached her with a delicate maneuver that easily could have
blown up in my face. It's called “negging,” a form of “damning
with faint praise” in order to throw an SHB off-balance.
“You seem a bit out of place,” I told her. “What do you
mean?” she asked. “A lot of the girls here seem glamorous,” I
replied. Her face was turning red. I had to soften the blow. “Don't
get me wrong. You're attractive. I think you know that.” Instead of
blowing me off, the woman - Donna - seemed intrigued, and engaged me in a
long discussion about what makes people glamorous.
My “neg” had been an effective opener. Why? The theory is that
SHBs are used to having guys slobber over them. Although their self-image
depends on it, any guy who praises them too soon defines himself as another
chump looking to get into their pants. But doing the opposite gets her wondering, “Why
isn't this guy drooling over me? Why doesn't he find me perfect like everyone
else does?” Done right, it virtually compels her to try to win you
over.
Rule 4: Show ‘em Shit
At that point, Donna's attention was waning, and she turned back
to her friends. I tapped her shoulder and asked her if she'd ever been “cubed.” “What's
that?” she asked. “It's a method of giving you deep insights
into your subconscious. Very powerful stuff.” I'd regained her interest.
She was eager for a cubing, and I gave it to her.
The technique essentially involves having people imagine a cube
and other objects in a desert, then interpreting to them what the images
mean. For example, if they see their cube as made of steel, they have a resilient
nature; if it's made of glass, their ego's fragile. The interpretations are
largely bullshit. Cubing is mainly a device to convince the girl that you
have a “gift” for seeing into her soul. (For instructions on
cubing, see www.pickupguide.com/entrcube.htm.)
Rule 5: Leave ‘em Wanting More
Donna loved her cubing. She even wanted to take a crack at cubing
me, but I teased her that she'd “have to earn that right. Only special
people can cube me.”
“You don't think I'm special?” she asked. “I don't know
yet,” I said. “I still need some convincing. But we'll save that
for another time. I have to go.” She seemed disappointed, much to my
delight. Getting her number was a piece of cake. I called two days later.
We made plans for the weekend.
All the rules went out the window on our date. She'd polished
off half a bottle of wine before I got to her apartment. “Nerves,” she
said. Instead of catching a movie as planned, we bought more wine, went back
to her apartment and got totally bombed. My recollection of what followed
is like a video that keeps skipping frames. I remember having sex, but it
seemed more like a hallucination than a memory. The only tangible evidence
was the used condom I found next to me in bed in the morning. After our date,
Donna didn't return my calls. Hence my new challenge: Work on my post-seduction
skills.
“School For Seduction”
“You've Read How They Do It Stateside, Now Learn How To Find Yourself
a Private Pulling Tutor Back In Britain.
MH's Resident Lothario, Frank Elson, Attended A London Seminar
And In-The-Field Workshop With International Dating Coaches Real Social Dynamics
To Brush Up On His Technique”
BY FRANK ELSON, DECEMBER 2005
Men's Health Magazine - http://www.menshealth.co.uk
I'm wincing like a boy being prompted with a poke in the back to embrace
an elderly relative.
This is my introduction to the "field work" of a Real Social Dynamics course. My class consists of six students but, unlike anything I ever experienced at school, we each have our own strict, demanding and also rather attractive tutors.
Tonight, we're putting our learning to the test.
Prior to hitting the streets we were taught the theory behind meeting and attracting women.
This took the form of a two-day seminar, with instructors explaining the required techniques involved.
We learnt how to start conversations.
Evaluating which women to approach is near impossible. Even the most warm and welcoming barely dressed women have boyfriends.
Apparently, an authoritative presence and a female-opinion opner works
best: "Hi, I need a female opinion. Who lies more: men or women?"
It's the sort of issue on which a woman can't resist sharing
her views.
Once you're off, you share some stories that appeal to the emotional
and imaginative parts of a woman's psyche, thereby creating physical tension.
After that you take charge and sweep her away for a night of
unbridled passion.
Well, that's the theory.
The reality proves to be different.
It begins with me stopping two bemused Estonian students while
trying to remember my opener.
I stumble over the opinion question but it eventually limps out
of my mouth and, much to my amazement, they don't give me the "fuck
you" brush off I expect but instead start arguing over it.
Unfortunately, my initial success means that I momentarily forget
what to do next, but still they smile at me, make their excuses and leave
pleasantly.
"That was very good," says Roxanna, my instructor. "But you
have to learn to be louder or you'll never get any attention when we get
to the clubs."
Evaluating which women to approach is near impossible. Even the
most warm and welcoming barely dressed women have boyfriends at the bar,
in the toilet or on the dance floor.
It's a fleshy manfield.
But despite my protests, Roxanna isn't about to take no for an
answer and we head for a club in London's West End.
Perfect Pick-ups
Roxanna's a tall, slim Mexican, who wears a low-cut top and cut-away denims.
It's a look that undoubtedly gives us novice pick-up students
kudos when making our cold approaches - a man with an attractive female friend
is less threatening and thus more appealing, I'm reliably informed.
I use the openers with single women, pairs, even the raucous
members of a hen party.
Roxanna is always there right behind me whispering in my ear: "Stop
moving so much... Look, she's interested... Tell another story... Okay, leave
now."
She's relentless about making me approach; every time I head
for the bar she's on me. "Why are you stopping? Look, those two there
- GO!"
Later, the whole group forms a circle to celebrate.
Everyone has approached 10 or more women each during the evening
and many of us have phone numbers.
Before the seminar, most seemed incapable of stringing two sentences
together in front of a woman they fancied.
I feel high, I feel powerful.
I feel ridiculously excited.
I can see that this is really going to make a difference to my
dating life.
We're all elected members of the Pick-Up Club and there's a feeling
of camaraderie.
First rule of Pick-Up Club: you must approach! Second rule of
Pickup-Up Club: you must approach!
Even without the alluring Roxanna by my side to bully me into
the initial approach, I've continued to live by the rules.
I regularly stop women in the street and I have no problems starting
conversations in clubs.
I've had four dates in the last two weeks, one with a particularly
stunning lawyer who I'm seeing again.
The course has taught me a valuable truth: you must always make
the move.
Live by that diktat and you won't regret it.
See www.realsocialdynamics.com.
“Men Paying To Learn To Be Appealing ”
BY SAM DE BRITO, JANUARY 16, 2005
The Sunday Telegraph - http://www.news.com.au
AUSTRALIAN men are paying as much as $1600 to be coached in the art of
picking up women by highly skilled dating instructors.
Los Angeles-based company Real Social Dynamics (RSD) offers three-day "boot
camps" that train men how to approach and attract women.
"Most guys fumble their way through interactions with women and have
no idea how sexual chemistry works," says Tim, one of RSD's local instructors.
Life skills ... The dating game's
not all wine and roses.
"Attracting women is a skill set that can be learned and mastered like any other talent - and that's what we're here to teach guys."
RSD puts theory into practice "in the field".
On meeting dating coach Tim, aka "The Chariot", I thought: "What the hell can this kid teach anyone about women?"
At 20, Tim is an average-looking Melbourne boy who works in finance. Yet within an hour, I'm watching him do things I've never witnessed before.
Tim's student for the next three days is Steve, 23, a public servant from
Adelaide who is decidedly awkward and reserved.
"Most guys link their self-esteem to the way women react to them, and
it's the completely wrong frame to come from," says Tim.
"I look at the world as a playground. When you talk to women, you're
shooting hoops.
"Sometimes you get it in the basket, sometimes you miss, but you learn
with every shot you take."
Tim says the biggest adjustment any man needs to make to be successful
with women is internal: "You've got to have fun and make it fun for
the girl."
Even before a man approaches a woman, she's made judgements about
his social value, says Tim, who declined to be photographed, saying anonymity
was essential for his work in public.
Rich men, rock stars and handsome guys already have this value,
but the rest of us are left to slug it out using body posture, sappy dialogue
and vocal tonality.
"Alpha males - that tiny percentage of guys who know what's up with
women - act a certain way, and you can learn it," says Tim.
Give-aways such as talking too quickly and laughing at your own
jokes tell a woman clearer than capital letters that you're needy.
"The vast majority of women prefer men who are in control, confident
and funny," says Tim.
"Not everyone is naturally like that, so we teach you how to fake it
'til you make it."
RSD coaches say the best way to initiate a conversation is with
a "neutral opinion opener".
"Women love to give their opinions on a topic, especially if it's emotionally
charged like, 'Do men lie more than women?' " says Tim.
"Instead of asking boring questions that girls have heard a thousand
times ... we involve them on an emotional level."
Steve is taught to do this through a variety of "hot" topics and
psychological games that on many occasions had women saying: "I've never
met anyone like you before."
"Women want to experience these reactions with men. It's incredibly
refreshing for them," says Tim.
"It also makes any man, no matter what he looks like, an attractive
partner."
Over the course of a weekend, three things become apparent about
Tim and RSD's methods.
1. It's a numbers game. The more women you talk to, the greater
your chance of finding a female you like and who digs you.
2. Tim has an uncanny charm with women. Almost every group he
approaches is stoked to talk to him and enjoys his company.
3. It's rubbing off on Steve. The guy who had struck me as awkward
72 hours earlier is now scanning nightclub crowds like a gunslinging Clint
Eastwood.
In just one weekend, Steve has talked to hundreds of females,
compiling an expanding library of experience on what women want.
He has also made a fundamental discovery that, Tim says, will
set him on his way to success with the opposite sex.
"The most important thing is having a positive mind set and having fun," says
Steve, pocketing a skater girl's phone number.
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