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“Mastering The Game"

BY Joe Zigfeld, February, 2006
Edge Magazine - http://www.mensedgehhc.com


THINK THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS "STUD-OLOGY 101?" CHECK OUT HOW ONE MAN LEARNED TO GO FROM DUD TO STUD

Is there a science to seducing gorgeous women? Yes, says a growing movement, and its methods can be mastered by anyone who's motivated enough. I'd heard about such techniques for years, but usually dismissed them as the bullshit of snake-oil salesmen out to exploit gullible guys.

But when I learned that a former New York Times reporter claimed he had burst his shackles of involuntary abstinence and scaled the heights of alpha male-dom, I had to know more. In the book The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists, Neil Strauss (co-author of Jenna Jameson's autobiography) details his journey from dud to stud. He convinced me that a coherent body of practical “stud-ology” is indeed available to the average guy.

Two seduction experts, known as Tyler Durden - after Brad Pitt's Fight Club character - and “Papa” figure prominently in The Game. They're the founders of Real Social Dynamics (www.realsocialdynamics.com), a firm that operates “boot camps” combining instruction with

nocturnal forays into the field, where you apply what you've learned under the watchful eye of your teacher.

I decided to take one of their Manhattan boot camps. My instructor was Tim, a young Heath Ledger-type from Australia. How could this dude, who probably scored left and right on his looks alone, teach me how to seduce an “SHB” (super hot babe, one of many terms in the pickup-artist lexicon)? But he was such a forceful presenter, I suspended all my doubts and gave him my full attention. He was like Patton revving up his troops for battle.

I'm 5-foot-5 and not blessed with movie-star looks. But I do have a gift for bullshit. As Tim went through different techniques, I started to see how they could help me improve my batting average.

After the day's formal seminar, we went to a noisy bar on Manhattan's East Side. I introduced myself to Liz, a redhead from Minneapolis, Minn. She wasn't pretty, but she was clearly drunk and cute in a kooky way - the type who'd have no qualms about dancing on the bar. She immediately put her arm around me and made me feel in sync with her. But what really impressed Tim was that Liz bought me a beer. Thus, I had succeeded on one of Tim's basic points: A true alpha male gets girls to buy him drinks, not vice-versa.

Liz further enticed me when she announced that she was bisexual. But when I asked her to name her fantasy babe, it wasn't Angelina Jolie. Or Jessica Simpson. Even Paris Hilton would have been a turn-on. But no, Liz's ideal girl was Ellen DeGeneres. When I think of threesomes, Ellen is not who I have in mind. But we kept flirting, and Liz eventually gave me her card and asked me to call her.

This was another coup in Tim's eyes. But as cool as Liz was, she wasn't that much different from the type of average-looking girls I usually end up with anyway. The real test of Tim's training would be getting an SHB.

Later, after Tim and the other students went home, I headed to a midtown lounge, Prey, where I could have a conversation without screaming. I made sure to follow Tim's seduction rules as much as possible. Check out the action.


Rule 1: Big Smile
I walked into Prey with a huge grin on my face. (I hate my smile. But seduction theory puts a lot of stock in strolling into a place - smiling confidently - like you “own it.” The only way to get more comfortable with your smile is to keep doing it until it becomes second nature.) Maybe I looked like an asshole, but I literally forced myself to grin and bear it. I immediately spotted a gorgeous brunette at the bar. She looked like Eva Longoria with a pair of huge bolt-on stripper breasts.

Rule 2: Three Seconds and Counting
Now that I'd noticed her, and she'd caught me looking her way, I had seconds to make my move. Otherwise, she'd write me off as another “AFC” (average frustrated chump) who didn't have the guts to act decisively.

Rule 3: Kick Her Off Her High Horse
I approached her with a delicate maneuver that easily could have blown up in my face. It's called “negging,” a form of “damning with faint praise” in order to throw an SHB off-balance.

“You seem a bit out of place,” I told her. “What do you mean?” she asked. “A lot of the girls here seem glamorous,” I replied. Her face was turning red. I had to soften the blow. “Don't get me wrong. You're attractive. I think you know that.” Instead of blowing me off, the woman - Donna - seemed intrigued, and engaged me in a long discussion about what makes people glamorous.

My “neg” had been an effective opener. Why? The theory is that SHBs are used to having guys slobber over them. Although their self-image depends on it, any guy who praises them too soon defines himself as another chump looking to get into their pants. But doing the opposite gets her wondering, “Why isn't this guy drooling over me? Why doesn't he find me perfect like everyone else does?” Done right, it virtually compels her to try to win you over.

Rule 4: Show ‘em Shit
At that point, Donna's attention was waning, and she turned back to her friends. I tapped her shoulder and asked her if she'd ever been “cubed.” “What's that?” she asked. “It's a method of giving you deep insights into your subconscious. Very powerful stuff.” I'd regained her interest. She was eager for a cubing, and I gave it to her.

The technique essentially involves having people imagine a cube and other objects in a desert, then interpreting to them what the images mean. For example, if they see their cube as made of steel, they have a resilient nature; if it's made of glass, their ego's fragile. The interpretations are largely bullshit. Cubing is mainly a device to convince the girl that you have a “gift” for seeing into her soul. (For instructions on cubing, see www.pickupguide.com/entrcube.htm.)

Rule 5: Leave ‘em Wanting More
Donna loved her cubing. She even wanted to take a crack at cubing me, but I teased her that she'd “have to earn that right. Only special people can cube me.”
“You don't think I'm special?” she asked. “I don't know yet,” I said. “I still need some convincing. But we'll save that for another time. I have to go.” She seemed disappointed, much to my delight. Getting her number was a piece of cake. I called two days later. We made plans for the weekend.

All the rules went out the window on our date. She'd polished off half a bottle of wine before I got to her apartment. “Nerves,” she said. Instead of catching a movie as planned, we bought more wine, went back to her apartment and got totally bombed. My recollection of what followed is like a video that keeps skipping frames. I remember having sex, but it seemed more like a hallucination than a memory. The only tangible evidence was the used condom I found next to me in bed in the morning. After our date, Donna didn't return my calls. Hence my new challenge: Work on my post-seduction skills.

 

“School For Seduction”

“You've Read How They Do It Stateside, Now Learn How To Find Yourself a Private Pulling Tutor Back In Britain.

MH's Resident Lothario, Frank Elson, Attended A London Seminar And In-The-Field Workshop With International Dating Coaches Real Social Dynamics To Brush Up On His Technique”

BY FRANK ELSON, DECEMBER 2005
Men's Health Magazine - http://www.menshealth.co.uk

I'm wincing like a boy being prompted with a poke in the back to embrace an elderly relative.

A female voice hisses, "Approach NOW!" in my ear and, like the reluctant child, I'm forced to face my demons: in this case, two rather attractive blondes.

This is my introduction to the "field work" of a Real Social Dynamics course. My class consists of six students but, unlike anything I ever experienced at school, we each have our own strict, demanding and also rather attractive tutors.

Guide to pulling a stunner,
step 1: find a bar full of models


Tonight, we're putting our learning to the test.

Prior to hitting the streets we were taught the theory behind meeting and attracting women.

This took the form of a two-day seminar, with instructors explaining the required techniques involved.

We learnt how to start conversations.

Evaluating which women to approach is near impossible. Even the most warm and welcoming barely dressed women have boyfriends.

Apparently, an authoritative presence and a female-opinion opner works best: "Hi, I need a female opinion. Who lies more: men or women?"

It's the sort of issue on which a woman can't resist sharing her views.

Once you're off, you share some stories that appeal to the emotional and imaginative parts of a woman's psyche, thereby creating physical tension.

After that you take charge and sweep her away for a night of unbridled passion.

Well, that's the theory.

The reality proves to be different.

It begins with me stopping two bemused Estonian students while trying to remember my opener.

I stumble over the opinion question but it eventually limps out of my mouth and, much to my amazement, they don't give me the "fuck you" brush off I expect but instead start arguing over it.

Unfortunately, my initial success means that I momentarily forget what to do next, but still they smile at me, make their excuses and leave pleasantly.

"That was very good," says Roxanna, my instructor. "But you have to learn to be louder or you'll never get any attention when we get to the clubs."

Evaluating which women to approach is near impossible. Even the most warm and welcoming barely dressed women have boyfriends at the bar, in the toilet or on the dance floor.

It's a fleshy manfield.

But despite my protests, Roxanna isn't about to take no for an answer and we head for a club in London's West End.

Perfect Pick-ups

Roxanna's a tall, slim Mexican, who wears a low-cut top and cut-away denims.

It's a look that undoubtedly gives us novice pick-up students kudos when making our cold approaches - a man with an attractive female friend is less threatening and thus more appealing, I'm reliably informed.

I use the openers with single women, pairs, even the raucous members of a hen party.

Roxanna is always there right behind me whispering in my ear: "Stop moving so much... Look, she's interested... Tell another story... Okay, leave now."

She's relentless about making me approach; every time I head for the bar she's on me. "Why are you stopping? Look, those two there - GO!"

Later, the whole group forms a circle to celebrate.

Everyone has approached 10 or more women each during the evening and many of us have phone numbers.

Before the seminar, most seemed incapable of stringing two sentences together in front of a woman they fancied.

I feel high, I feel powerful.

I feel ridiculously excited.

I can see that this is really going to make a difference to my dating life.

We're all elected members of the Pick-Up Club and there's a feeling of camaraderie.

First rule of Pick-Up Club: you must approach! Second rule of Pickup-Up Club: you must approach!

Even without the alluring Roxanna by my side to bully me into the initial approach, I've continued to live by the rules.

I regularly stop women in the street and I have no problems starting conversations in clubs.

I've had four dates in the last two weeks, one with a particularly stunning lawyer who I'm seeing again.

The course has taught me a valuable truth: you must always make the move.

Live by that diktat and you won't regret it.

See www.realsocialdynamics.com.

“Men Paying To Learn To Be Appealing ”

BY SAM DE BRITO, JANUARY 16, 2005
The Sunday Telegraph - http://www.news.com.au

AUSTRALIAN men are paying as much as $1600 to be coached in the art of picking up women by highly skilled dating instructors.

Los Angeles-based company Real Social Dynamics (RSD) offers three-day "boot camps" that train men how to approach and attract women.

"Most guys fumble their way through interactions with women and have no idea how sexual chemistry works," says Tim, one of RSD's local instructors.

Life skills ... The dating game's
not all wine and roses.


"Attracting women is a skill set that can be learned and mastered like any other talent - and that's what we're here to teach guys."

RSD puts theory into practice "in the field".

On meeting dating coach Tim, aka "The Chariot", I thought: "What the hell can this kid teach anyone about women?"

At 20, Tim is an average-looking Melbourne boy who works in finance. Yet within an hour, I'm watching him do things I've never witnessed before.

Tim's student for the next three days is Steve, 23, a public servant from Adelaide who is decidedly awkward and reserved.

"Most guys link their self-esteem to the way women react to them, and it's the completely wrong frame to come from," says Tim.

"I look at the world as a playground. When you talk to women, you're shooting hoops.

"Sometimes you get it in the basket, sometimes you miss, but you learn with every shot you take."

Tim says the biggest adjustment any man needs to make to be successful with women is internal: "You've got to have fun and make it fun for the girl."

Even before a man approaches a woman, she's made judgements about his social value, says Tim, who declined to be photographed, saying anonymity was essential for his work in public.

Rich men, rock stars and handsome guys already have this value, but the rest of us are left to slug it out using body posture, sappy dialogue and vocal tonality.

"Alpha males - that tiny percentage of guys who know what's up with women - act a certain way, and you can learn it," says Tim.

Give-aways such as talking too quickly and laughing at your own jokes tell a woman clearer than capital letters that you're needy.

"The vast majority of women prefer men who are in control, confident and funny," says Tim.

"Not everyone is naturally like that, so we teach you how to fake it 'til you make it."

RSD coaches say the best way to initiate a conversation is with a "neutral opinion opener".

"Women love to give their opinions on a topic, especially if it's emotionally charged like, 'Do men lie more than women?' " says Tim.

"Instead of asking boring questions that girls have heard a thousand times ... we involve them on an emotional level."

Steve is taught to do this through a variety of "hot" topics and psychological games that on many occasions had women saying: "I've never met anyone like you before."

"Women want to experience these reactions with men. It's incredibly refreshing for them," says Tim.

"It also makes any man, no matter what he looks like, an attractive partner."

Over the course of a weekend, three things become apparent about Tim and RSD's methods.

1. It's a numbers game. The more women you talk to, the greater your chance of finding a female you like and who digs you.

2. Tim has an uncanny charm with women. Almost every group he approaches is stoked to talk to him and enjoys his company.

3. It's rubbing off on Steve. The guy who had struck me as awkward 72 hours earlier is now scanning nightclub crowds like a gunslinging Clint Eastwood.

In just one weekend, Steve has talked to hundreds of females, compiling an expanding library of experience on what women want.

He has also made a fundamental discovery that, Tim says, will set him on his way to success with the opposite sex.

"The most important thing is having a positive mind set and having fun," says Steve, pocketing a skater girl's phone number.

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